This really sucks! I've got to go to my Weblog Entry through a diffy link... @___@ Ooooh welll. ^____^

Today's a good day. Yesterday was a good day. In fact... I've been having good days, enough where I've been so distracted from Xanga--

::various fruits of different sizes, shapes, and weight are thrown, people screaming afterwards. Phae shrinks into a corner, eyes wide.:: YES IT'S BEEN A VERY GOOD DAY!!

But enough of my excuses! Lemme unleash upon you all the intimate and unimportant details of my less than impressive life!

Sooo. I was walking down the sidewalk one day and I stumbled upon a shining blue rock. I picked up that rock and POOF! I was in a new world! They had flying people and--

::vairous veggietables soon follow the various fruits of different sizes, shapes and weights, where now the veggietables (I CAN'T STOP SPELLING VEGGIETABLES!!) are thrown in alphabetical order. Phae again retreats into a more secluded corner, eyes wide:: OKAY OKAY!!

...Yeah... Today is Chinese New year people!! Time for the Feng Shui to kick all your a**es!! ...Well at least mine.

We spent all of yesterday cleaning the house...where I've learned that multiple chores equals a rather zombified me. So yea... I went through the entire house to take off all the bed covers...then washed them... Washed a rather large set of clothes...and folded them... Cleaned the living room with hands (which haven't been touched since...last spring...) and then went down stairs to clean the computer station (which hasn't been touched since the beginning of time...). Nasty stuff.

It never really occured to me how superstitious my mom was. I always took her as the practical type, but ever since she converted to Buddism, she's been doing all sorts of weird things. Well not really... But we had too move a 5-6ish foot plant from one corner of the house cuz it invited bad luck. Then we rearranged our living/dining room so that our dinner table sat facing the window in the living room as to invite good fortune and luck. And then my mom made me wash bowls... dig around for some pennies to put into them, and then put them into my room...to invite wealth. Go figure.

So now every day I go to sleep, I've got this bowl of useless pennies in my room...almost blocking my veiw of the alarm clock. Ruby's got a glazed porcelien elephant in her room...because it invited some form of something that my mom failed to mention...and that I failed to ask. You don't ask anymore. It's wise not to...Not to my mom.

But I don't complain. I'm not big into the whole superstitions...but nothing is proving it wrong, so how can I say "That's not true!"

So anyway. It is Chinese New year. So...I'll spare you from more reading. ^____^ Gong Hei Fat Choi everybody!!!

mood: Cheerful.

XP Don't you love how he dun have a shirt on...? o.O;;;

XP Look at the rainbow!!

I'll spare you from Sasuke icons now XP

Whoot! Tifa against a stained glass window!! Love it! ^____^

I dun quite agree with the face placements... buh it's very purty ^____^ Still a xeno fan!

BOOYAH!

Quote:

Mr. Ketch: Cameron. You're annoying me. Shut up and write.

Cameron: But I'm dying here!

Mr. Ketch: That's nice. Die quietly and write.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Neither will I use 50 cent lyrics where now, because of inflation, is probably worth 10 cents." -Mr. Ketch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inno: You don't have any voices in your head or anything like that?

Ruby: ...Well I have flying sign posts.

Me: WHAT?!

Inno: o.O;;

Ruby: Well when I'm sleeping at night... and I've got a song in my head... A line of the song would appear in my head and then suddenly... a sign post would come flying and just cut the sentence in half. Then there'd be silence.

Rosa: ::starts to laugh maniacally::

Me: O.O

Inno: And you say I'm crazy?!

Ruby: AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE VOICES IN MY HEAD!!

-Lunch Conversation.

Ack! I just realized something... This layout offer the link for me to post! It's missing it's "New Weblog Entry" thingy. O______o;;

How am I typing then? We may never know... XP

Anyway... I dun have much time left to type... But I've been doing a bit reminscing today. I went back and read a bit of my entries. I laughed hard sometimes... But you know, only a fool would laugh at their own jokes, nes? Let me be a fool then. Besides, with the rate my memory's going, I probably dun remember what I wrote. ^__^

While I was reading, I came across my old play I acted during my jap class. It was amusing, very and I was suddenly reminded of that time. However, as I kept going, I suddenly read a post which blantanly told the world about my hatred for someone who shares my blood, who lived with me all my life, and I can say, at least, that I was shocked. I was an upset little girl. I don't blame myself, but It's safe to say that it ruined my day.

But that leads to a rather morbid post today... My day is rather sporatic though... I've have my hard times fluxuate into good moments. But just now, I was talking with my friend, whose name I'll leave absent lest I might make myself remember in the future and ruin that day too.

Friends are the perhaps the most treasured thing in my life, no matter how little I show it. They are the people who actually make my day feel better. I owe them everything. Still...

Expression of self. That's what I'm having trouble doing. I can't seem to be myself any more. It's hard to tell if what I'm doing is a Faye thing to do. In fact, it seems that in my quest to blend in, I practically erased any traits that made Faye, Faye. I've spent all my time playing games, immersing myself in a world where I become someone else.. I draw with the intention of laying out a character's attributes, what makes them, them. I role play as someone else, develop them so much... And make them so distant from myself whom I deemed as 'boring'...and in a way, cursed myself into forever unknowing.

I've forgotten... or perhaps I've never known. But its hard.. I can easily play as someone else but the character named Faye... is an empty slate. To talk to friends, but find myself trying to please them more often than I am myself. It's like I'm bound by trying to keep from hurting my friends. These bonds are suppose to support me right? Then why does it feel like their weighing me down?

It makes me wonder... That maybe my lack of friends and my desire to keep those who are friends made me become like this. I'm not a social person as many people have noticed. My lack of self expression in public is preventing me from making any new ones. It might seem like I'm a talkative person by seeing how much I can cram into one post... In all truth, this is all the things I can't say before another person. I feel more comfortable talking in AIM (which is something I don't do often...) than I do face to face. But I feel most comfortable... talking to people who don't reply back to me in the next minute.

Anyway... It's late and I'm being forced off. ^___^;; Weird isn't it? Even when I'm trying to be serious, It seems that my memory has just failed me....

o.o

Even in mid sentence.

Well I've got no piccies today. So...

mood: In pain. For Ruby's head is extremely heavy and hard on the shoulders. 
                                    
 (\  /) |                           |
(O.o)|  <Insert piccy>   |
(     >|                           |

Wai.

Quote: Moo bobs.

 Oi... Bored out of my minds people... ^___^;;

Anyway... i think my xanga is malfunctioning! The skin isn't working... even the site that hosts this skin seems kinda... well blank to say the least. Oh well... i might go back to my old way again by putting up a wall paper... a picture... and music. @___@ Boring but at least it has my hard effort put into it.

I come to you all with a bit of ranting... Or wailing since the words suits it better. I've noticed that my vison is getting really really really... bad... I'm starting to be forced to wear my glasses on the comp now! Even when the screen is barely two feet away from me... My greatest fear is that my vison will end up like Ruby's...

Where people can see 500 feet away... Ruby can see only 20. My greatest fear... but most inevitable, the way I abuse my eyes. Maybe I should cut down the video games. @___@ (my passion! I'll be boring without it! Not that I'm not boring already..)

Anyone know of a good way to make your eyes better without going through the freightening procedure of lasar eye surgery? The word surgery scares me enough... The thought of using a lasar to 'reshape' your eyeball sends shivers down my spine. (at least that's what I've heard. God tell me that's not true...)

Come to think of it... You should never look directly at a lasar beam... otherwise you'll be blinded. Isn't it a little ironic that a lasar is also used to make your vison better?

Anyway, I'd like to let everyone in the world know, that I've kept true to my promise (kinda) that I'd stay away from games during school days (or business days if you perfer) Except for Thursday... For some odd reason, that doesn't need to be explained, thursday is an exception. o.o;;

I figured that staying away from the games would stunt the decline of my eye sight but since it's winter vacation... well I've been going video game happy and my eye slowly rots away... What's that word that best fits this situation? Ah right... Decadence! (Vocab for you. Stupid english... the one word I missed on that test...)

There's also something else that I've kinda noticed with the degradation of my eye sight... I dunno if it's true for everyone else... but when one sense goes down hill (most obviously vison...) another strengthens. While my eyes get worse, my hearing starts to tune into the small things.

Which has its bad things by the way. I'm extremely picky at night... the volume on my tv (which is in my living room, quite aways from my bed room) must be at a certain digit, or I will not sleep. I've had many sleepless nights (but then again, during vacation, I've been sleeping in and staying up late...) because someone outside is watching football or something.

Usually I don't mind the tiny unimportant sounds (that plague my sleep...) but it's only because my mind is occupied on something else. At night, I must clear my mind (yoga dude...) and let nothing block the emptiness. My imagination runs rampant sometimes and I daydream often, (which is probably why my xanga entries are so long...)

So often that I end up staring intently, sometimes fiercely, at a single unmoving object, which is really embarrassing when that object is a person (hasn't happened to me yet, but Ruby knows what I'm talking about). So when sounds enter my mind, I convert them into something, usually dealing with whatever i'm imagining (most likely a story I'm writing or a picture I'm drawing) and there I go... staring intently off towards the specks of my ceiling (though at this rate, I might not see anything at all)

I lose alot of sleep that way...

But you know, it seems like I require complete silence to sleep... but that's a near impossiblity if not a complete impossiblity. At night, even when the tv is out and everyone else has turned in to their snoreless dreams, you never hear silence...

There's always a buzz somewhere... Even when it's just the sound of air.

Do you even know what the sound of air sounds like? It kinda has a ring to it... But it's can't be silence (maybe I'm going mad? I'm going senile before I come of age. Heck Altzimers, however it's spelled, is already kicking it, no?) because silence is...deafening...

As ironic as it sounds, it's true.... I think. (now I'm really going mad...) There were some sound barriars back in my orchestra room back in hayfield...but whenever you walked past them, your ear would hurt, for some reason, but you can't hear anything (through that ear though) I haven't tested it out yet or anything... but maybe if you cover your other ear, you really won't hear anything. That is silence... and it's painful.

You know, silence really is something that can't be achieved. Silence only exists to someone who's deaf, no? As long as you can hear... the sound of heartbeats... the sound of breathing... everything has a sound, as intangible as it is. Silence is the absensce of sound... and to have the absense of sound would be to demolish everything that made a sound. Near impossible... because then there'd be nothing to hear it, no?

It's like the saying... When a tree fall in a deserted forest, does it make a sound?

(of course, the scientists would argue yes because of soundwaves and blah blah blah waves are sound yadda yadda yadda blargh. I really wish the fantasy in life came back. Back then, you'd wonder why the sky was blue but nowadays you look up and not wonder why it's blue, but know that you're staring at the sea.)

...

You know... I was just watching Ruby flip coins... and there went my train of thought...o.o

Yes... I think I'll end it here.

Ji Jen people!

mood: Huh?

He glares at you... because he doesn't like this picture of him. (runs off to find another...)

Not advent... but still cool.

Enchanting? Creepy? Or both?

Vincent as a Turk! @____@ Eye candy that it is...

Quote:

Dad: Aren't you gonna drink your soup?

Me: No... i'm gonna wait for my soup to dry.

~Dinner time...

And just because I blabber too much... Here's another para. (^-^) Ha... >.>;;; Ahem... Yes. G'night people. o,,,O

ZOMBEH! ...

I'll stop now...

Can you believe it? I havne't had candy since... this morning.

Yes... >.>;;;

G'night.

Here I am again! A holiday later! Hurray!!!

It's Chrismas people!! I'm typing on my bro's labtop right now, a labtop which he got for Xmas. (damn lucky he is...) Oh well. Now that he's got his own computer, you'd think that he'd give up the PC back home. Unfortuanly, he's just got another thing to mess with... So our comp back home is still just as slow. ::sighs heavily::

Anyway now that my bro actually has money from his job, he went of his way to get us a present! Radiata Stories! Awesome game. Much more lighter than what we're used to. The graphics flow very well. Sadly... Within the first week of getting it, the disc was scratched... So now whenever we walk into a certain area in the game, the disc freezes and it'll never load! ::cries:: I'll never move on!!

For now I can only hope that the disc cleaner will fix this problem. ::sighs:: What's really bugging me though is the fact that I haven't gotten him anything. I know I don't have any money to buy him anything... But it feels wrong to just take the present and all I'll give in return is just... my gratitude?

Come to think of it, I haven't gotten many presents.. And then again, there's nothing I really want... Lately my inspiration to do anything at all has been almost nonexistant. I spend more of my time just sitting around at home, reading that darn book Huckleberry Finn (which isn't that bad.. just long and hard to read...) Usually my inspiration comes from games, as I've noticed (I'm such a loser...) and since Radiata suddenly stopped working, I've been even less active. @____@

You know, if I have that much time on my hands, you'd think that I'd update more often...

And for that I really don't have an excuse...Well without inspiration, I really won't have anything to write. Maybe I figured that, the longer I wait, the more I'll have to write...

The thing is, I forget everything as time passes. Maybe I should post more often but with shorter posts? How would you all like that?

...

I bet I'm not that dedicated. Oh well.

Anyway, I've been obsessed with Advent Children music lately. Advent One Winged Angel is really growing on me. XP I can thank Inno for showing me where you got the music (and it should've been obvious to me, I usually get music from that place anyway...)

I feel that I've run out of things to say... Why not talk about Xmas?

Actually Xmas dun mean much to me... It's not even much of a day to get together with family. If you lived in my family, the kids would be downstairs, crowded around the machinary, playing games or on the computer doing whatnot while the parents and older generations would be upstairs eating and talking amongst themselves. Theres a generation gap for you. Not only our ages, but our language too. It's really sad.

And for those who don't even get along very well with the majority of their own generation, it's really lonely. o.O That's why I cherish the little friends I have right now, right? ^___^ Shout out to you Inno and Rosa!

Whoot.

Anyway... I've really got nothing else to say.. so Ji Jen people! merry Xmas and a happy new year!!!

Some girl I dun really know from Radiata Stories.

Wheee... Advent Children! It's a purty picture...

Another piccy of Aeris! She looks so purty... @_____@ The best looking charry...ever...

A piccy of Kadaj from AC! @___@ He is my fav charry actually... He's very well developed, even though he's evil...

Quote: 

Page: ::Zanthos, feeling revived from a surge of energy, rose from where he stood, his hair growing longer radiated through the night. His form became more slender, his voice become more melodic. He no longer looked like the weak boy from before::

Me: (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!)

Ruby: (>.>)

Page: (What?! What's so funny?!)

Ruby: (You dun wanna know...)

Page: (What! He hit puberty?)

Me: (He hit puberty and turned into a girl!!)

-Role Play with Page

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: What's so great about wrestling...? I mean... All it is is a bunch of half naked over built men tryiing to get on top of each other...

Rosa: o.O ::grins evilly and begins to laugh::

Ruby: ... ... ... ::eye twitches::

Me: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!!

(never really happened... but that's how it would if I ever actually said it to her...)

...

...

::peeks from the corner of a wall, eyes wide:: O.O

...Hello...

::looks around:: it's been... a while... A long while...

::counts the days:: From Sept 23 huh? Two months and a day have passed since I last posted... Wow.

::grins sheepishly:: That's a new record!! ::A tomato is throw at her, splattering her face with rotten red juice. Her smile is swept off:: Yeah... this is why I was hiding. ::another tomato is throw at her, splattering the wall. Faye shrinks away behind the wall, eyes wide.::

Two months is a long time. I dun blame 'em! I'd chuck rotten smelly tomatos at me too if I could.

Well there is a certain reason that brought me here today. ::clasps her hands together, turkeys flying past her:: It's Thanksgiving people!!!

... Right?

My internal clock is off. Really off. ::rubs her head:: Centuries off. Ah well.

I think I'll take this time to spend in quiet recollection of what I'm thankful for. ::closes her eyes and the chaotic scenery around her dissolves into a quiet abyss where she sat in the center, illuminated with soft light. She assumes a meditative position, grinning::

First off I'd like to comment that it snowed yesterday. ::it begins to snow in the dark abyss:: Ahahaha! We had a white Thanksgiving eve. It melted by morning anyway, but it snowed nonetheless. ::nods her head, the snow melting into cold puddles of water, seeping into the earth.::

Anyway. I shall begin my list of thankfulness.

Why not begin with family?

I'm thankful that I've lived my past 16 years (16 year's right?) with them. Ruby especially. You've been such a good little slave. I'll be sure to thank you when I have the chance. ::grins evilly until another rotten potato slams into her face:: Urk... ::Falls over, Ruby's screams falling over her:: I guess I deserved that. But anyway, glad to have known you, dear dear dear dear dear sister. Just know that when I die, you have five more minutes to live til you follow. ::snickers evilly until another potato shuts her up.::

I'm thankful for my mum and dad for being there when they can. I'm still a good girl, I assure you. o.o Don't suspect me of any misdoings. I'm a good girl. I'm a proper girl. I'm a little angel. ::sweetly smiles, hiding her fangs. She beat her eyelashes, trying to portray innocence.::

I'm thankful for you Alan. >.> You're so high maintanince though. Yes... You seem to love to try and attack me though. 

Alan: ONG-BAK!!! ::elbow drops her into the ground. Faye'e form is seen twitching:: (inside joke)

I'm thankful for you Vickster and Jon. XP Your so girly Vicki. And Jon, your so... you're so... you. o.o. China was a good time to spend getting to know you people more. Yes Jon. Cut your hair. XP I'll try to come visit Christmas break!

Alan: ONG-BAK!!! ::punches Faye endlessly, still twitching::

I'm thankful for all my aunts and uncles. I dun talk to you much... but Yea. Your family. Luv all ya. I'm thankful for my Grandmum... You're so delicate... It feels like anything I do is a strain upon you. @___@ I hope you live a long long life. I'm thankful for my Grandpa. I never knew you too well either. But I hope you're doing well in your other life. I love you all to death.

Yes... now onto my minions of evil. ^____^

Inno, I'm thankful that I've had you for a friend for so so so so long. ::listens to her echo:: Yea... for whatsitnow... since 5th grade? Or was it... 7th? I can't remember. (Not surprising...) Feels like I've known you forever..........Fluffy. (was it Squishy? I can't remember) XP Your still my Buddy, Stuffing Buddy. XP

Rosa... I still hafta give you a nickname... Oh right! Aacaado. XP If that's spelled right. I'm thankful that I've had you for a friend for a long long long time. (We didn't really get to know each other until... what was it? 7th grade? I can't remember) I'm thankful for all those conversations you've had...Not quite what the effects were on me, but I'm thankful anyway. o.o;; "I enjoyed them deeply". That always had a perverse ring to it.

Page... I'm thankful for you too. We don't talk much anymore, you've always been the talkitive type. I doubt you're reading this, but it's not really so surprising since we now go to different schools. We should RP some day. ^___^

Katie, I miss you too. You people back in Hayfield. Even you Phuong. ^___^ You're not in Hayfield but I dun care. I miss you all!

Did I miss anyone? @____@ I bet I did... I always do... But it's okay. I"m thankful for everything! ^____^ And I'm thankful for all the people I've met too. Happy Turkey day people!

mood: Happy ::gasps:: I bet I'm not really XP



XP Still my fav show.



o.O You're so evil... You're so awesome...



Whoohoo for original art!!



Kawaii Evil!

Quote:

"I'm thankful for...Pineapple Strawberry Veryfines." -Connor